16 November 2007


My 'dopted family has fallen into the habit of celebrating Christmas together the weekend after Thanksgiving. It stemmed from travel issues, and the other complications that develop from branching out and forming extended families. This year I am just. not. in. the. mood. To be precise, I am most definetely OUT of the mood. I have been noticing in the newspapers and radio ads that I catch, that many communities held their "lighted Christmas (oops, strike that, call it "generic holiday of no religious significance whatsoever") parade" and opening festivities for the holiday season last night or tonight. This moved up from Black Friday, which had moved up from the first couple sensible weekends in December. The Black Friday sales start as early as 5 am, and I have read of some major retailers having Thursday afternoon sales. The grass and trees are either brown and dead or weirdly green from our damp October and mild-so-far November. It doesn't look like Christmas. It doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't feel like Christmas. At all. As a matter o' fact, I have been roaming about aimlessly with a rather large black cloud over my head and a lead weight on my shoulders. Not festive. Not cheery. As much as I loathe the commercialism that has enveloped Christmas, I like to buy gifts for my family. I enjoy giving them something that makes them smile. And I can't afford it. Ever. Truly the Lord protects fools and small children (and ships named Enterprise, I guess); we always muddle through. We always have. But I am tired. Tired of climbing the hill and not seeing the top. Tired of working toward a goal that seems unattainable. Tired of everything I do not being enough. Tired of questioning every single expenditure that is not life dependent. Tired of resenting every such expenditure that anyone else makes. Just tired.


Misty said...

How sad that stores would not only expect employees to work on what is supposed to be (and really is the only) family oriented holiday. THEN to manipulate greedy consumerists into leaving said family focussed day to spend money. UGH... that's sad...

katjjames said...

You know I have been there with you more times than I can count. I am getting a little frightened by the moving up of the Christmas selling season, also. In a dog eat dog world, sentiment seems to be something you will need to stop in and aisle and purchase.

MamaMichelsBabies said...

"lighted Christmas (oops, strike that, call it "generic holiday of no religious significance whatsoevee")

Reading this just ticked me off. Between the commercialism and the now hypersensitive, over pc, over governed society that exists in America today, there isn't a whole lot left is there?


I'm putting up lit up signs that say Merry Christmas, I'm having 2 different Christmas trees, we will still bake the birthday cake that gets fed to the wildlife outside (there is an idea behind that and I actually plan on posting about it) I am going to have all the kids make handmade gifts (this year it's clear christmas bulbs with their hand prints, their names and the year) for their elders, and I will ontinue to bang it into the kids heads that it's not about the presents, it's about Christ, what he gave us, and why we celebrate his birth as a family. Becuase the biggest gift you can give your children is that sense of family. It may not be one they appriciate so much now, but it is one they will in the future.

Sorry for the rant. Hang in there, it's only a month, it will pass and so will that feeling.